I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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