The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
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Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
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the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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