wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
