He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
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I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
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At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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