It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
