Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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