My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize