Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize
