no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
