i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Someone came in the potted fern
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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