After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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