She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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