It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Randomize