im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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