do herpes really smell.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
