I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
