i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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