smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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