he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
