similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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