Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
