Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
My life is pants optional.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
