Sponge bath it is.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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