I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
