What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
