She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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