evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm bleeding and have questions
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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