adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
