Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
