mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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