**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
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Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
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