dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
