Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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