gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Randomize
