sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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