that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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