Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
