How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
