At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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