Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
