you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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