If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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