What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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