I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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