I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
