well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
