arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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