conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize