We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize