HIV tests are more positive than that guy
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize