Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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