I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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