I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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