i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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