At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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