so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
