so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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