respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
