That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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