I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
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Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
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I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
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