): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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