He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
birth control should be required to get into college
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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