what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
they need to just BURY HIM!
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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