He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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