make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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