Your face is a jimmy john
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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