I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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