best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
