North Korea, Best Korea!
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
