I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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