in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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