Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
