If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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