dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
