Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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