lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
